I don't think I could cope!
by FluffLover81
Summary: My own thoughts on what should have happend in Series 5 episode 3? Between Sandra and Gerry! Because everyone loves a bit of Sherry. Please Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a story based in series 5 episode 3( i think its episode 3) And a slightly different way the events turn out .

Sherry Story

Enjoy

I sadly do not own New Tricks or the characters

"Come in and shut the door" Sandra said through a sigh "Strickland want me to find a replacement for jack"

"ugh Still if he isn't coming back..." Gerry looked to the floor knowing this might not be what she wanted to hear but maybe is what she needed to hear.

Sandra looked appalled as she raised her voice to Gerry " We don't know that! He- he just needs time."

"He's gonna need more than time to get over seeing Hanson walk" Gerry reminded

Nodding "Yeah Yeah i know its just, its just i " Her voice broke and tears welled in her eyes.

Gerry moved over closer to Sandra but not touching not knowing if she would appreciate his comfort right now. "I know Sandra, I know" Sandra took a step closer to him " What are we gonna do Gerry?" His arms wrapped around her waist and she rested her head on his chest .

"Shh it'll work it self out in the end, it always does. Besides its Jack he will be back, I'm sure" Rubbing her back slowly trying to soothe her pai

"You're just saying that to make me feel better Gerry, you don't believe it." Sandras face was now soaked with tears and they were begginging to seep through his shirt. He kissed the top of her head suprising Sandra in his tenderness towards her. Pulling her back so he can look her in the eye he tells her " Sandra. Look at me. We will sort this!" He says with as much confidence as he can " I promise you! Okay ?"

Sandra just stares at him blankly but holds the eye contact "Okay?" He asks again as he wipes the tears on her cheeks away.

She nods slightly "Yeah" she whispers. " Yeah " she says more confidently this time

Slowly Sandra leans forward and brushes her lips against his. Slowly he returned the kiss _It was true he wanted more than to kiss her until she felt no more pain. To hold her and love her just like she deserved but he knew that she was just acting on impulse she doesnt really want this, he might want this but she is in a bad place right now. Hurting. He wont take advanteage of her. So as his mind catches up with him he breaks the kiss and pulls away .

When he pulls away a look of shame crossing Sandra face for an instant " Gerry I-I'm sorry I -I don't know what" and before she finished she had ran off in the direction Brian had gone with that fan of the victim.

Gerry just stood still. Frozen. Staring where she had been his hands still in the position they had been one where her hip was and one where her cheek was. He scent still lingered in the air. It was a smaeel that Gerry could never pinpoint to anything in particular it was just... Sandra. That was why he loved it so much.

He suddenly snapped out of his haze to realize he had been stood there for a while and people would be wondering where he had gotten to.

When he entered Sandra refused to meet his eye but he could tell she was still upset. She probably regrets what happened he thinks.

The day went as normal chasing leads, interviewing suspects. If Brian picked up on the tension between the two of them he didn't comment and left at the end the day with a nod and a short Goodbye.

In Sandra's office she placed the phone down after another conversation with Strickland about jacks replacement. She let out a large sigh, looking out into the main office surprised to see just Gerry at his desk. Tears welled in her eyes once again at the thought of this morning and lay her head in her arms thinking about what had happened. How she had ruined everything between them. Face it Gerry didn't care about her, so why did she kiss him? He only kissed back because he felt sorry for her and he pulled away becuase he regretted ever kissing her back. She kept thinking how jack would help her now. He'd know what to do. Tell her what to say to Gerry to mend everything. But he was gone and now she might lose Gerry too. If he leaves too then she wouldn't cope. she kept thinking to herself as more tears fell onto her desk as she cried into her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

A knock on the door made her jump and she lifted her head. There. At the door. Was the subject of her jumbled thoughts. "You never knock" she mumbled trying to stop the flow of tears running down her face. Gerry's face twisted into a look of worry as he made his way towards her.

"I wasn't sure you'd want to speak to me, I thought i'd give you the option to tell me to sod off!" Gerry watched as Sandra's face changed from one of complete hopelessness to one of confusion " Well do you? Want me to sod off?"

It wasn't often Sandra saw Gerry look nervous and she couldn't help but wonder what he had to feel nervous about, it should be her. But it wasn't. She was just over the moon he was talking to her. Gerry took her silence as a yes, that he should sod off, so he turned and went to head out of the door. Sandra soon realised how he'd misinterpreted her silence. "NO! No I don't! I thought you wouldn't want to speak to me after this morning." She gave a watery half smile.

"That's why i thought you might want me to sod off. I know i was out of order this morning Sandra and I-I'm sorry I-I just. It wont happen again" Gerry looked at the floor while he said this, not able to look her in the eye. He wouldn't do it again. It was true. And that thought made his heart hurt. He'd never feel those soft lips against his again. But she clearly didn't want it. He had taken advantage earlier whilst she was vulnerable. That's why she had kissed back. And if never kissing her again, never holding her in his embrace shielding her from all the things trying to hurt her meant that he could keep her in his life. He would oblige. However reluctantly. He needed her in his life. She was his best friend, his most trusted friend. His one true love. If he had wrecked everything. If he lost her. He couldn't cope.


	3. Chapter 3

p class="MsoNormal"Sandra froze, he was sorry? But it was her. She had kissed him. She had ruined everything and potentially lost the man in front of her. More tears welled in her eyes as she angrily wiped at them. 'Why are you sorry? It was me that ruined everything'/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Gerry dared to take a step closer. 'No Sandra, you were upset and needed comfort and I took advantage of you. My actions went ahead before my brain had registered them. I'd never take advantage of you, I wouldn't I need you to know that.' He moved closer to her and his voice dropped to a whisper 'I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and doing this to you' he gestured to her tears./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Sandra sighed and thought about the mess she'd caused, about the relationship she had ruined and about the man she had made feel guilty. Trust Gerry to blame himself for something she did. What was she going to do now she'd probably lost him? Sandra took a deep breath and prepared herself for the confession she was about to make and braced herself for the rejection and possibly resignation she was about to be given. 'Oh Gerry, I kissed you. I knew what I was doing. I wanted to kiss you. I needed you. I needed to feel you there. What with Jack being gone and everything I needed to know you were still here. Yes, I needed comfort but not from just anyone. From You! I needed to feel like you cared for me like I do for you. You make me feel like everything is okay like its going to be alright cause you will make it okay.' she took another deep breath after blurting it all out in one go and when Gerry sat staring at her -probably in disgust she thought to herself- she tried to explain some more 'And now I've ruined everything, I've ruined our friendship and I've made you uncomfortable and It's all my fault because I couldn't keep my feelings in check and I've embarrassed you and me. And … and …' Sandra was crying again and tears rolled down her face, she was lost she didn't know what else to say 'I'm sorry' she whispered 'Please don't hate me'/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Gerry dropped to his knees in front of her, wincing as his knees ached. 'Sandra look at me' he put his finger under her chin and lifted her face so she was no longer looking at the carpet but at his face. 'I do care for you, so much it hurts sometimes, and the idea of anything hurting you, kills me. Anything that makes you feel anything less than good I will always try and fix. Always. You haven't ruined anything. The only thing I feel because of this is guilt for taking advantage of you. I've wanted you to kiss me for so long and I thought about what I wanted before why you were kissing me. Stop saying you're sorry.' Gerry wiped away the tears on Sandra's face with his thumbs. 'I could never hate you. Don't you know that?'/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Sandra's mind could hardly process what Gerry had just said. He wasn't angry. He didn't turn and run away or look at her with disgust. He still cared. And the most shocking thing of all… He had wanted her to kiss him for ages. 'Y-you wanted me to kiss you?' Her face grew red as she said it 'Why?'/p  
p class="MsoNormal"'Really Sandra ? Isn't it obvious? You're gorgeous for a start. I fancy the pants off of you. Have since day one. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanBut it's more than that now. So much more. I learned how great you are. How good you are at your job. How you always give 100% until the case is solved. That fiery temper you have that comes from that huge streak of determination to give your all. The way that once you care about someone you'd do anything for them. You never give up on anyone you love and will defend those you trust till your last breath. Your ability to remain composed when really you're struggling to stop yourself from shattering, not everyone notices though, I always do. The way that you're actually quite self conscious. And the best bit is that smile, not the one you have when someone cracks a joke though the sound of that laugh warms my heart but the rare smile you have when no one else is around us, the one where your whole face lights up and you can't contain it. That smile makes my day.' Gerry held his breath, he'd just made himself very vulnerable. This could have crossed a line. He dared to look at her instead of at his hands. At least she'd stopped crying he'd shocked her enough for that. He could see in her eyes a million thoughts cross her mind./p  
p class="MsoNormal"'Gerry? Did you mean all that? Really I mean? Not just saying it.' Gerry nodded and he could see a smile start to spread across her face the one he'd talked about the one he loved so much ' Gerry I had no idea you cared so much.'/p  
p class="MsoNormal"'Come on, shall we go for a drink? I'll get first round' Gerry tried to sound normal he thought Sandra would never feel the same and he should just try for some normalcy. He hoped they could still be friends still make this work as he stood with a soft groan 'Sodding knees' he muttered as he began walking towards the door to grab his coat and head to the pub./p  
p class="MsoNormal"'Gerry!' He turned and noticed she was still sat at her desk on her chair but had turned towards the door. 'I would like that drink' she stood 'But…' she hesitated maybe this was too soon, it might scare him away, maybe she'd read everything wrong and had meant platonically that he cared. 'I'd rather we head back to mine for it. I have a bottle of wine and some bottles of beer we could talk…' she trailed off as Gerry nodded./p  
p class="MsoNormal"'Sounds perfect, lets go' Sandra grabbed her coat and bag and followed him to the car park./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"*Sandra's living room*/p  
p class="MsoNormal"They were both sat on the sofa each on one end. Sandra staring at her glass of wine with her feet tucked under her. Gerry at the pattern of Sandra's rug. They'd ignored the elephant in the room since they arrived, sticking to topics of work or other trivial things but had descended into a comfortable silence./p  
p class="MsoNormal"'I thought that was it today you know? I thought I'd ruined everything by kissing you. I felt you might even leave.' She dared a glance in his direction 'I thought I'd lost you' she said quieter. She sat up and put her feet on the floor her elbows on her knees, glass of wine still in hand as she took a sip. 'Gerry, what you said earlier. What does it mean? I know now you care about me. But in what way? As a friend or as… as more?' she held her breath./p  
p class="MsoNormal"'I love you as a friend Sandra obviously.' He paused thinking how to word the next bit as Sandra realised she had read it completely wrong and it was just friendship and tears began to well once again. 'But what I said earlier was about more than friendship. I want more than just friendship with you.' He looked up to judge her reaction. 'But I don't want to pressure you. If friendship is what you want. If friendship is all have I can do that. I'll try and make it not weird for you. We can go back to the way we were.' He had begun to panic as her rushed out the last bit hoping he really could go back to hiding his feelings if that's what it took 'What is it you want Sandra?' he asked nervously./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Sandra couldn't keep the smile from her face as she placed her wine glass down. Moving so she was facing him and then leaning forward towards him. She looked into his eyes as she placed her lips above his and softly applied pressure until she felt him respond she smiled into the kiss as she poured all the passion and feeling she could into it. Moving until she was on top of him body pressed as close as she could get. When breathing became necessary they pulled apart 'That answer your question?' she whispered breathlessly as she smiled widely./p  
p class="MsoNormal"Gerry nodded as he leaned up and kissed her again. 'Oh yeah' He laughed as he pulled her so she was laying across him with her head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Sandra grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV to some nonsense as Gerry kissed her head./p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"*The next morning*/p  
p class="MsoNormal"Gerry groaned loudly as he tried to stretch his aching limbs and remember why he wasn't in his own house before he realised that there was a weight on his chest, he looked down and was met with the face of Sandra sleeping peacefully and the day before came flooding back producing a smile across his face./p  
p class="MsoNormal"He watched her for a while before realising the time and shaking her awake. She groaned softly as she screwed her eyes shut then opened them to look at his face before a smile spread across her face and she leant up to quickly peck him on the lips 'Morning' she mumbled against them./p  
p class="MsoNormal"'Morning. How are you feeling this morning?' Gerry asked nervous that she might regret it. Only kissing him then out of impulse. He felt the grip on his heart lessen as she smiled sweetly leaning up to kiss him again./p  
p class="MsoNormal"'I'm amazing, Gerry stop looking so scared' Sandra began to sit up allowing Gerry space to move. 'What time is it?' she stood 'I'll go put the coffee on, run and have a shower if you want one or whatever'/p  
p class="MsoNormal"'Sandra wait!' He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him holding her close. 'Yesterday, I really had thought I'd lost you. I really did. I thought I'd ruined everything. But this is the best outcome I could ever imagine.' He pecked her on the lips 'If I'd lost you Sandra I don't think I'd have coped.'/p 


End file.
